Match length 21:00

It starts with muscles. It always starts with muscles.

Neo and Tyson are mid-pump, comparing striations, biceps, horseshoes, glutes — the kind of physique showcase that makes you forget there's supposed to be a match. Neo has a strap to keep blood in his bicep. Tyson adjusts his shorts. Someone calls it a wedgie match. That someone was more right than they knew.

Then Tyson mentions the tag team match he wasn't invited to. Neo says he didn't think Tyson was cut out for it.

That was a mistake.

What follows is 20 minutes of wedgies, nut locks, chokes, claws, and two men who keep stopping mid-submission to flex for each other — because even when someone is being destroyed, the muscles deserve to be acknowledged. Tyson calls himself a slave boy. Neo tells him to say "I submit, sir." The politeness level in this match is not high.

Both men claim to have won. Both men are wrong about this in different ways.